let my words be few

Sometimes God wakes me up in the middle of the night to remind me of you. Yes, you. The girl reading this right now.

With a gentle tap on my heart He’ll say, “I want you to share this with her.

And if I’m being honest, sometimes it seems hard and tedious and scary. Sometimes I doubt you’ll care. Sometimes I fear your judgement. Sometimes I find myself as Moses was, pleading with God over my inadequacy and lack of eloquence.

But then He will whisper again:

“Remember when you were her? Remember how it felt? Remember how desperately you needed those words? Remember?”

And with that soft reminder, the flutter in my heart for you will return.

I write these posts for you, sweet girl.

I write because I know life is hard and that it hurts. I write because I remember what desperation and loneliness feels like. I write because sometimes it’s all I can do to settle my own soul. I write because God has broken my heart for you.

I write because He asks me to.

So to you, I want to say: thank you for reading. I pray you find pieces of Jesus here.

And to my sweet Savior, I ask: please let my words be few.

I’m so thankful to serve a God that wrecks my plans

I’m so thankful to serve a God that faithfully wrecks my plans.

If you ever turn to God and say, “It’s alright God, I’ve got this one figured out,” only to realize that you do not, in fact, have this one figured out, then let me just say that I’m right there with ya.

It’s during these times that I’m grateful for a God who steps in and reminds me why I should lean not on my own understanding, but His. I am also reminded just how truly incapable I am on my own.

Sometimes I wish I had all the answers. Sometimes I find myself telling God that it would be so much easier if He could just tell me what was in store. Sometimes, I want the burden of not knowing to be taken away.

But I realized something recently.

It would be a much bigger burden to know all of the endings. The weight of having all of the answers would be unbearable; and I’ve realized that I’m thankful it’s not mine to carry.

So today I am rejoicing over all of my personal plans that God has wrecked because they weren’t His best. I am rejoicing over all of the times I thought I knew best and God faithfully reminded me that I don’t. I am rejoicing because I have a Father who is watching over me, guiding me, and protecting me from things I can’t see or don’t understand.

I am rejoicing that knowing is not my burden to carry.

don’t stop your hustle, but don’t let your hustle stop you

I called my mom last night and cried.

I was battling stress, worry, and a tightness in my chest.

She told me, “Torie, give yourself a break. We don’t have to have it all figured out tonight.” Sometimes I wonder if I’ll have the same superpowers when I’m a mom.

Can I share some truth with you?

If it’s meant to be, it will be.

I know, you’ve heard that before. I’ve heard it before too- lots of times. But girl, it really is the truth. Don’t stop your hustle, but also don’t let your hustle stop you. God has given you everything you need to fulfill your specific purpose. I promise He will get you where you need to be.

This is something I’ve been reminding myself of lately:

I don’t want anything that is not from God.

I would rather be patient than miss out on God’s timing.

I don’t want to be somewhere that He has not called me to be.

Girl, if you’re hustling hard and stressing because you still don’t feel like you have it all figured out, please remember that you don’t have to. Here’s a secret: you’re not the only one. No one else has it figured out either. The lucky thing? God does.

Last night I gave it to God and went to sleep. I decided to trust Him over myself, and with my mom’s help, I realized that it’s better that way.

My plans pale in comparison to what He has planned for me and oh I’m so thankful. I’m thankful that it’s not all up to me to figure out, and I’m thankful that the same goes for you, too.

maybe God is protecting you from something you can’t see

My friend spoke words of wisdom into my life the other night. She said, “maybe God is protecting you from something you can’t see.”

How had I not considered that?

Does anyone else ever have moments where you turn to God and say, “are you forgetting about me? I am positive that relationship/friendship/job is meant to be!”

I’ll be honest with you. I sometimes fail to realize that the plans I make for myself are nothing in comparison to the ones that God has made for me. I forget that He knows infinitely more than I do. And when things don’t pan out exactly as I think they should, thoughts like, “I’ve missed out” and, “that was my last chance” start to run through my mind.

And friend, if you can relate at all, here’s the reality of the situation:

I will not “miss out” on the things that God is preparing for me.

I serve a God who offers chance after chance.

I want no part of anything that is not from Him.

If I got everything I thought I wanted, my life would be a hot mess.

I am not God, I do not know what God knows, and ultimately, He is the trust worthy author of my life.

So just in case you need to hear this one more time today: maybe God is protecting you from something you can’t see.

Girl, even His no’s are covered in love. He knows infinitely more than we do. And I can promise you this: when you receive the things that are from Him, you are never going to look back and wish you had gotten what you previously asked for.

And I hope the peace of that completely covers you.

we are not called to understand God

I came to God with a mountain load of worries today. As I was riddling off my fears on my way to class I ended my list with a simple prayer.

God, please help me to trust you.

Life is overwhelming. It is messy. It is hard. And honestly, sometimes it scares me.

But it is in the midst of my anxiety and doubt that the Lord takes my hand and whispers, “daughter, I already have it all figured out.”

I cling to the promises that I hear in that still, small voice.

I know the plans He has for me are so much greater than anything I could ever plan for myself. I know that He has been preparing me for such a time as this. I know that He has His hand on the knob of each door I need to walk through and will open them in His good and perfect time. I also know that He closes the doors that don’t lead me closer to Him.

And it is because I know all of this that I don’t need to know the rest.

Hear me on this:

We are not called to understand God. We are called to trust Him.

This world is big but my God is so much bigger. The future is scary but my God has foreseen every second of it. Anxious thoughts are heavy but my God supplies abundant peace. I make plans but my God makes better ones.

And oh how deserving He is of every ounce of my trust.




I craved an honest love

Can I press pause on your Valentine’s Day for just a sec? I have a quick question for you.

Are you focused more on pursuing a relationship with the guy that caught your eye in history class or the one that hung on a cross for you?

I only ask because I know what it’s like to be the girl that routinely lets satan whisper lies in her ear. I listened as he reminded me of insecurities and shame and doubt until I wondered if I could ever be worthy of an honest love. I craved that. I prayed earnestly for it. I did my best to find it on my own.

Sometimes we let our desires cloud our vision and steal our peace. Sometimes we forget whose heart we should be pursuing above all else. Sometimes we listen to the lies.

But the enemy never offers us something we don’t already have.

Maybe you need to hear this today: if you’re letting God direct your steps, you’re not going to miss out on what He has planned for you.

Stop rushing. Slow down. Good things will come in God’s time, not yours. He knows exactly what you need and when you need it. He knows exactly how many days (or valentine’s days) you need to spend single. He knows who the right person is and when you need to meet them. But He also wants to be the top priority in your life.

Please don’t forget that we serve a jealous God.

This powerful, magnificent, holy, jealous God did something incredible for me. He gave me that honest love that I prayed so desperately for, and He gave it to me before I ever began to think I needed it. I was desperate for something I already had.

His honest love saved me. It wraps around me in the fire and holds onto me in the storm. It takes my hand in the valley and humbles me on the mountaintop. It surpasses my understanding and tugs relentlessly on my faith. It painted the cross red and washed the sin from my name.

Can I tell you the best thing about that honest love?

It’s offered to you too.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Good friends are hard to come by

Good friends are hard to come by.

When I say this, please know that I mean good friends. Kind friends. The friend that offers to help when she has zero obligation to. The friend that encourages, uplifts, and acknowledges your successes. The friend that genuinely loves and cares for you. The friend that prays for your heart.

Girl, if you are lucky enough to find a friend like this, keep her close.

But I also encourage you to be that friend. Offer to help her when she doesn’t ask, and if she says no, ask again. Encourage her, uplift her, and throw a party when she has something to be excited about. Love her, care for her, and understand that, like you, she isn’t perfect either.

Good friends are hard to come by. Perfect friends don’t exist.

Extend understanding if she disappoints you. Ask for clarification if something upsets you, and do it with grace. Be willing to hear her side. Be willing to overlook a misunderstanding. Be willing to listen if something is heavy on her heart.

Ladies, if you find a friend that loves you, keep her close. Thank God for her. Pray for her.

She is a blessing.

“There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other,
    but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.”

Proverbs 18:24