let my words be few

Sometimes God wakes me up in the middle of the night to remind me of you. Yes, you. The girl reading this right now.

With a gentle tap on my heart He’ll say, “I want you to share this with her.

And if I’m being honest, sometimes it seems hard and tedious and scary. Sometimes I doubt you’ll care. Sometimes I fear your judgement. Sometimes I find myself as Moses was, pleading with God over my inadequacy and lack of eloquence.

But then He will whisper again:

“Remember when you were her? Remember how it felt? Remember how desperately you needed those words? Remember?”

And with that soft reminder, the flutter in my heart for you will return.

I write these posts for you, sweet girl.

I write because I know life is hard and that it hurts. I write because I remember what desperation and loneliness feels like. I write because sometimes it’s all I can do to settle my own soul. I write because God has broken my heart for you.

I write because He asks me to.

So to you, I want to say: thank you for reading. I pray you find pieces of Jesus here.

And to my sweet Savior, I ask: please let my words be few.

for the girl in waiting

Sometimes the waiting seems tedious.

Sometimes I lie in bed at night and wonder how long I’ll have to wait for A, B, and C to happen.

Sometimes I can’t help but turn to God and ask, “how long?” I’ve yet to receive a response but I’ll keep ya posted.

And with still no answer to that question, He has laid it on my heart to write to the girl in waiting today, and also to myself.

If I know anything about God’s character, I know that He doesn’t make me wait without cause. There is purpose in each season. There are lessons that I still need to learn. There are people that I still need to meet. There are places that I still need to go. I don’t want to rob myself of this season of growth. God is not in a hurry, why am I?

God wants me and you to make the most of this waiting season. He wants us to live on purpose. He wants us to live with purpose.

I wish I could tell you the number of times I’ve gotten so caught up in my worries only to hear a still, small voice whisper, “daughter, I’ve already got it figured out.”

Read that again because He’s whispering the same thing to you.

God wants our trust, and not only after we have the answers. He wants it now, in the waiting.

So whether I will wait 1 more day, or 1 more year, or 10 years, I am trusting His timing, His plan, and His faithfulness. Why? Because I have seen it in my own life and in the lives of the ones I love.

He is a God who keeps His promises. He is a God who loves me. He is a God that wants the best for me.

He is a God who hears my prayers in the waiting and says, “daughter, just trust me. I’ve already got it figured out.”

I’m so thankful to serve a God that wrecks my plans

I’m so thankful to serve a God that faithfully wrecks my plans.

If you ever turn to God and say, “It’s alright God, I’ve got this one figured out,” only to realize that you do not, in fact, have this one figured out, then let me just say that I’m right there with ya.

It’s during these times that I’m grateful for a God who steps in and reminds me why I should lean not on my own understanding, but His. I am also reminded just how truly incapable I am on my own.

Sometimes I wish I had all the answers. Sometimes I find myself telling God that it would be so much easier if He could just tell me what was in store. Sometimes, I want the burden of not knowing to be taken away.

But I realized something recently.

It would be a much bigger burden to know all of the endings. The weight of having all of the answers would be unbearable; and I’ve realized that I’m thankful it’s not mine to carry.

So today I am rejoicing over all of my personal plans that God has wrecked because they weren’t His best. I am rejoicing over all of the times I thought I knew best and God faithfully reminded me that I don’t. I am rejoicing because I have a Father who is watching over me, guiding me, and protecting me from things I can’t see or don’t understand.

I am rejoicing that knowing is not my burden to carry.

don’t stop your hustle, but don’t let your hustle stop you

I called my mom last night and cried.

I was battling stress, worry, and a tightness in my chest.

She told me, “Torie, give yourself a break. We don’t have to have it all figured out tonight.” Sometimes I wonder if I’ll have the same superpowers when I’m a mom.

Can I share some truth with you?

If it’s meant to be, it will be.

I know, you’ve heard that before. I’ve heard it before too- lots of times. But girl, it really is the truth. Don’t stop your hustle, but also don’t let your hustle stop you. God has given you everything you need to fulfill your specific purpose. I promise He will get you where you need to be.

This is something I’ve been reminding myself of lately:

I don’t want anything that is not from God.

I would rather be patient than miss out on God’s timing.

I don’t want to be somewhere that He has not called me to be.

Girl, if you’re hustling hard and stressing because you still don’t feel like you have it all figured out, please remember that you don’t have to. Here’s a secret: you’re not the only one. No one else has it figured out either. The lucky thing? God does.

Last night I gave it to God and went to sleep. I decided to trust Him over myself, and with my mom’s help, I realized that it’s better that way.

My plans pale in comparison to what He has planned for me and oh I’m so thankful. I’m thankful that it’s not all up to me to figure out, and I’m thankful that the same goes for you, too.

maybe God is protecting you from something you can’t see

My friend spoke words of wisdom into my life the other night. She said, “maybe God is protecting you from something you can’t see.”

How had I not considered that?

Does anyone else ever have moments where you turn to God and say, “are you forgetting about me? I am positive that relationship/friendship/job is meant to be!”

I’ll be honest with you. I sometimes fail to realize that the plans I make for myself are nothing in comparison to the ones that God has made for me. I forget that He knows infinitely more than I do. And when things don’t pan out exactly as I think they should, thoughts like, “I’ve missed out” and, “that was my last chance” start to run through my mind.

And friend, if you can relate at all, here’s the reality of the situation:

I will not “miss out” on the things that God is preparing for me.

I serve a God who offers chance after chance.

I want no part of anything that is not from Him.

If I got everything I thought I wanted, my life would be a hot mess.

I am not God, I do not know what God knows, and ultimately, He is the trust worthy author of my life.

So just in case you need to hear this one more time today: maybe God is protecting you from something you can’t see.

Girl, even His no’s are covered in love. He knows infinitely more than we do. And I can promise you this: when you receive the things that are from Him, you are never going to look back and wish you had gotten what you previously asked for.

And I hope the peace of that completely covers you.

this is what I pray for

I pray for my future family every single day.

I relentlessly pray for the man I will marry and that he is passionately in love with the Lord. I pray for the children I will have and that they will come into a personal relationship with Jesus at a young age and walk with Him for the rest of their lives. I pray that God will have His powerful and merciful hand in the lives of the people that are special to me.

I pray for loved ones who don’t know what it’s like to look at the sky and mountains and ocean and see God there. I pray that He will reveal Himself in extraordinary ways and bring peace and purpose into their lives.

I ask for Him to move in my life. I ask that He draws me closer to Him and fills my heart with a desperation to know Him. I ask to hear His voice above all else. I pray that He molds me into the woman He has called me to be. I ask Him to take away desires that aren’t from Him and replace them with those that are.

I pray that He uses me as an example of how powerful His love is. I also thank Him for all that He has done and for all that He will do.

Why? Because prayer works.

And before I clicked the “post” button tonight,

I prayed for you, too.

we are not called to understand God

I came to God with a mountain load of worries today. As I was riddling off my fears on my way to class I ended my list with a simple prayer.

God, please help me to trust you.

Life is overwhelming. It is messy. It is hard. And honestly, sometimes it scares me.

But it is in the midst of my anxiety and doubt that the Lord takes my hand and whispers, “daughter, I already have it all figured out.”

I cling to the promises that I hear in that still, small voice.

I know the plans He has for me are so much greater than anything I could ever plan for myself. I know that He has been preparing me for such a time as this. I know that He has His hand on the knob of each door I need to walk through and will open them in His good and perfect time. I also know that He closes the doors that don’t lead me closer to Him.

And it is because I know all of this that I don’t need to know the rest.

Hear me on this:

We are not called to understand God. We are called to trust Him.

This world is big but my God is so much bigger. The future is scary but my God has foreseen every second of it. Anxious thoughts are heavy but my God supplies abundant peace. I make plans but my God makes better ones.

And oh how deserving He is of every ounce of my trust.