learn to be obedient in the small

The Bible says Ruth “found” herself in Boaz’s field.

She didn’t strategically place herself there in hopes that she would get to talk to him. She wasn’t stalking him on social media or trying to get his attention. In fact, she wasn’t even looking for him.

She was simply collecting leftover grains, because that’s what she knew to do in the middle of her crisis. Ruth 2:4 says that while she was there, Boaz arrived. A beautiful picture of God’s perfect timing.

But I’ve decided a couple of things about Ruth.

She was obedient in the small before she was obedient in the big. If she had decided she was “too good” to go out and gather grains, she would have never met her kinsman redeemer.

God placed her in that field with more than a solution to her heartbreak in mind. He ordained Ruth’s introduction with Boaz but then called her into greater bravery.

She found herself in the field but she placed herself at the threshing floor.

She stepped into her purpose by first stepping into obedience. In the big and in the small.

She allowed God to direct her path instead of trying to shove the pieces together on her own. She trusted His outcome over her own idea of what it should be.

She was bold and faithful and one heck of a woman.

I want to be like that.

if someone has not told you yet, me too

“me too.”

There is massive power in those two small words. Healing comes when you share pieces of your heart with a friend and she has the courage to say, “yeah I get it. I’ve been there too.”

It is during moments like these that the burden feels lighter and the loneliness wears thin. It is then that the messy things are buried by mercy and the regret is finally crippled.

God cannot heal the parts of your heart kept hidden.

So if someone has not told you yet- me too.

You have anxious thoughts that keep you up at night? Me too.

Sometimes you struggle to hear what God has to say? Me too.

You’ve been verbally, mentally, and emotionally assaulted? Me too.

At times you face what feels like a mountain load of regret, anger, and worry? Me too.

You’ve made mistakes? Me too.

Friend, I’ve been there too. I know what it’s like. I get it. And if I don’t, someone else does. You are not alone, ever.

Go to someone who loves you and share the things you’ve left in darkness. Tell them about the struggles you feel alone in. Talk about the battles the church has ignored. And I pray that the two of you will have the courage to whisper to each other, “me too.”

what’s in your cup?

I read something the other day that touched my heart and I wanted to share it with you.

Imagine that you’re holding a cup of coffee and someone comes along and bumps into you, making your coffee spill everywhere. Coffee came out of your cup because that’s what was in it.

That is why it’s so important that we fill our cups with love, patience, respect, and inclusion. Because if our cup is filled with hate, bitterness, anger, or judgement, those nasty things are what will spill out when someone comes along and bumps into us.

We may even accidentally burn that person with the contents of our cup. And we are guaranteed to burn ourselves.

Make sure to pay attention to what spills out when someone is shaken and rattled. Would you ask for a drink from their cup if you were thirsty? Would it make you feel better or worse?

What you carry inside is what will pour into the lives of the people around you.

If you need to, dump out that cup. Jesus will meet you at the well, ready to refill it with something pure and everlasting.

let my words be few

Sometimes God wakes me up in the middle of the night to remind me of you. Yes, you. The girl reading this right now.

With a gentle tap on my heart He’ll say, “I want you to share this with her.

And if I’m being honest, sometimes it seems hard and tedious and scary. Sometimes I doubt you’ll care. Sometimes I fear your judgement. Sometimes I find myself as Moses was, pleading with God over my inadequacy and lack of eloquence.

But then He will whisper again:

“Remember when you were her? Remember how it felt? Remember how desperately you needed those words? Remember?”

And with that soft reminder, the flutter in my heart for you will return.

I write these posts for you, sweet girl.

I write because I know life is hard and that it hurts. I write because I remember what desperation and loneliness feels like. I write because sometimes it’s all I can do to settle my own soul. I write because God has broken my heart for you.

I write because He asks me to.

So to you, I want to say: thank you for reading. I pray you find pieces of Jesus here.

And to my sweet Savior, I ask: please let my words be few.

I spent years saying no to God

I spent years saying no to God.

He would open doors for me that I refused to walk through. I would hear Him say, “I’ve given you this gift so you can use it for my Glory” and I would repeatedly choose to listen to lies like these instead:

-you’re not good enough 

-you’ll just embarrass yourself

-there are so many other people that can do this better than you can

-you aren’t worth it

I know I’m not alone. I know you’ve heard and believed these things too. Here’s the truth👇🏼

THE ENEMY IS ATTACKING YOU BECAUSE HE KNOWS GOD IS TRYING TO USE YOU IN BIG WAYS

satan doesn’t lie just to make you feel bad. he lies because he’s terrified you’ll be used by God. he knows how powerful God’s love and truth is. Kick that sucker to the curb, sis.

This summer I decided to say yes. I stepped out in faith. My friend came to me and said, “I know what song you’re singing in worship.” I was terrified.

It was the same song God had been using to work on me over the last year. I would hear: “for all my days I will sing of the goodness of God” and He would whisper: “why aren’t you singing?” I hid from these gentle taps on my heart.

When I asked my friend why she had chosen this song for me, she said, “when I prayed about worship I saw you singing this.” I cried. I finally got it after all those years.

He was waiting on my yes. Arms open.

My sweet Jesus just wanted my “yes”—and friend, no matter how long you’ve spent saying no, He still wants yours too.

I did something bad

I did something bad last night.

Before I tell you what it is, you should know that I’m currently on a health journey (said goodbye to 25 pounds so far!👋🏼). I’ve completely revised the way I see food and exercise.

But guys. Last night I had pizza.

It was the first and only slice I’ve had all year and I was so angry at myself after I caved into the temptation. But then I realized something.

One piece of pizza is not going to undo all of the hard work I’ve done.

One bad day is not going to make me gain the weight back.

I can pursue health and fitness and cheat every once and a while.

So I wanted to pass on this reminder to you:

Choose healthy foods. Make exercising a priority even when you don’t feel like it (sometimes it takes me 10 minutes to get out of the car and go into the gym😂) 

Change your lifestyle because you love yourself and your body.

But girl, PLEASE don’t beat yourself up over food. Healthy mindsets are just as important as healthy bodies.

And lastly, eat the pizza every once and a while 😉

I’m not ready for this

 am not ready.

For weeks now I’ve allowed myself to speak unreadiness over my life, my confidence, and my body. Excitement was always followed with worries of falling short.

As the months turned into weeks and the weeks turned into days I would find myself awake at 1 AM asking God, “are you sure I’m prepared for this? Are you sure this open door wasn’t meant for someone else? Am I hearing you clearly?” 

Isn’t it funny how we often find ourselves questioning God’s judgement like we know better?

I’ll tell you how I honestly feel.

Underneath the initial excitement is fear, anxiety, and insecurities. There is a lurking feeling of inadequacy and unpreparedness.

Now I’ll tell you how God feels.

He says I am ready. He says, “daughter, I’ve been preparing you for such a time as this.” He says I am enough.

I may feel like I’m not prepared to take this massive leap out of my comfort zone, but the reality is that God never wanted me there in the first place. In His eyes, I am ready.

And girl, so are you.

If God has opened up intimidating doors for you, walk through them. Those feelings of inadequacy are part of satan’s plan to make sure you never see the wonders on the other side of your obedience.

As I wait to board this plane God is whispering to me, “you are ready for this.” 

And you know what? I think I finally believe Him.