I sat in the prayer room and brought my hurting heart before God.
I wept because He gives and He takes away. I rejoiced because of where He’s brought me. I thanked Him for all He’s done. I took my heart, tangled and twisted with battling emotions, and laid it at His feet.
God has been kind enough to put the light of His love in my life through other people. He has graciously given me the gift of friendship with so many beautiful souls. People of all nations and tongues. People who love Jesus with their entire heart. People who struggle. People who are broken. People who love me. People I love.
Saying goodbye is hard. It hurts.
But there is beauty in looking into the eyes of another and seeing tears there as a result of love for you. There is beauty in grieving the presence of a soul bonded to your own. There is beauty in a hurting heart.
It’s evidence that God has given us something real and genuine. Something special. It’s evidence of love.
So yes, my heart is sad.
Tears come when I remember that some, maybe most, of these goodbyes were final on this earth. I am weighed down by the fact that I have hugged some of these special people for the last time until heaven reunites us again.
My heart is full of love and pain at the same time but oh I am so thankful.
I wouldn’t take back one single second that contributed to the heaviness in my chest because it means I have loved and been loved.
And thank you Jesus for the opportunity to hurt over something so wonderful.