I’m not ready for this

 am not ready.

For weeks now I’ve allowed myself to speak unreadiness over my life, my confidence, and my body. Excitement was always followed with worries of falling short.

As the months turned into weeks and the weeks turned into days I would find myself awake at 1 AM asking God, “are you sure I’m prepared for this? Are you sure this open door wasn’t meant for someone else? Am I hearing you clearly?” 

Isn’t it funny how we often find ourselves questioning God’s judgement like we know better?

I’ll tell you how I honestly feel.

Underneath the initial excitement is fear, anxiety, and insecurities. There is a lurking feeling of inadequacy and unpreparedness.

Now I’ll tell you how God feels.

He says I am ready. He says, “daughter, I’ve been preparing you for such a time as this.” He says I am enough.

I may feel like I’m not prepared to take this massive leap out of my comfort zone, but the reality is that God never wanted me there in the first place. In His eyes, I am ready.

And girl, so are you.

If God has opened up intimidating doors for you, walk through them. Those feelings of inadequacy are part of satan’s plan to make sure you never see the wonders on the other side of your obedience.

As I wait to board this plane God is whispering to me, “you are ready for this.” 

And you know what? I think I finally believe Him.

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